Keeping America's malls safe from alien intruders since 1986!

You know that feeling you get when your walking through Target and you see someone you kinda recognise but you aren't 100% sure. You don't know if you should talk to him because you are afraid that he'll remember you and you still can't remember his name. Well, that's what it was like at my 20 year high school reunion. Only about 60 times that.

Went to visit my brother's new house in Oklahoma, near Oklahoma City. His house is sitting on 5 acres and has a stable, a goat pen, a 10 ft. wide creek along the back, four dog kennels and a mountain bike trail. I'm going to have to come up with more excuses to go visit him.

Well, I went to Canada to spend a week with my wife's family. We flew
into Buffulo NY, drove across the border into Niagra and then drove to
Missassagua (a suburb of Toronto). Much to my suprise, Canada was pretty much exactly like America (at least the part of Canada we were in) except that all the fast food places were replaced by one: Tim Hortons. Ontario has a large population of Pakistani and asians. The chinese food we had was ok, with a side helping of bland, but we did see an abundance of Halal chinese resteraunts (good luck finding sweet-n-sour pork). The best food we had was an afgani lunch place called Bamiyan Kabobs. Good stuff. Interestingly, the asians outnumber the french Canadians by two-to-one. There were frenchies though. You can spot the french women because they refuse to wear bras, despite the fact that for the vast majority of them you wished they did.

On the plus side, my wife's cousin had a salt-water pool. Nice. It has me rethinking my "no pool" house policy.

A recent attack on an AHL hideout near Pflugerville was a success. The raid yielded three psi-probes and a mind control helmet. Hopefully, this will put a damper on recent enemy activity in that sector. Contrary to the rumor which seems to be rapidly spreading through the agency, Spike was not damaged by enemy fire. Instead, she suffered a burnout when she connected an experimental Mark 7 Pulse Rifle to her internal power core. Remember, regulations are for your safety. She is currently at Luna 2 for repairs.

Aaron 2iC

Ok, so I'm sitting at home watching TV waiting for my wife to get out of the shower. I'm flipping around and find this strange program on one of the lesser channels (channel 68 for those in Dallas).

The show starts out with a "Trial in Hell". Our pudgy defendent is, evidently, accused of "thousands of murders". Sadly for him, the judge, jury and procecutor are all cows* (apparently you don't get a defence attorney in Hell). The poor defendent was done in by a damning piece of evidence: a hamburger which, apparently, was made of "cruelly ground meat". Despite the fact that no effort was made to associate this particular hamburger with the defendent, the cow-jury came back with a unanimous guilty verdict. The defendent, who worked at some sort of deli, was convicted of a thousand years in Hell -and- to be reincarnated as a cow. No indication as to whether these two sentences would be carried out concurently.

The show switch to two ever-smiling talking heads who told the story of how everyone was a vegetarian in the Garden of Eden. They then went on to show picture of other famous vegetarians including Pamela Anderson, Linda Blair, George Bernard Shaw, Buddha and, Jesus. Not only was Jesus said to be a vegetarian, but it listed under his name that he was a supreme buddhist master.

I've seen some weird religious programs, but this one tops them all. Anyone know the name of this bizzarre combi-religion?

*They weren't actual cows, but people with really faky cow masks.